So, what about that question of how do you show support for someone's plans when you know they aren't likely to bear fruit? It's very important to my husband to feel like I believe in him. There's all this history for people with ADHD of failure and they feel that constant shame. I don't want my loved one to feel that way. I want him to feel good about himself. But... And yet... Years and years of promises, of enthusiasms that end before anything comes of them. And somehow, try as I might, the cost falls on me. I support us. I clean up the messes (literally and figuratively). I don't want to be the parent. I don't want to be punitive. Nor do I want to be enabling. I keep being supportive of his ideas and efforts to do something productive, but so far, none of it has panned out (in ten years together, but we are in our 50's and his past history is pretty much the same - 3 years of a full-time career 20 years ago). He is falling into despair and nothing I do makes it better - I think he almost resents me more for being supportive because then when he doesn't follow through it makes him feel worse.