I am so depressed. I don't even have to say anything to be the brunt of his anger and frustration and insults. I am called down and belittled on a daily basis. I made the mistake of falling in love with the sweet side of him. It's been five years. Fairly sure it's co dependant as well. Given up any hope of normalcy. I am 45. 46 this June. I feel used and old and stupid. I don't want to be with him anymore. When we argue and I tell him to go to live with his mother, he does but I end up feeling like I was too hard on him. "He didn't ask for this syndrome, right?" :( I am to big hearted and stupid to make it stick and just move on with my life alone. I really just wish I never met him. Some days I wish I was just never born. The meds help him but not enough as far as I'm concerned. I just don't give a damn whether it works or not at this stage. Frustration and anger replace the fun times we used to have. He is also an alcoholic and addicted to pot. Just addicted to spending money if you ask me. I feel very alone.
Beyond Depressed and no hope
Submitted by Grrr on 05/04/2014.
But you didn't ask for it,
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
But you didn't ask for it, either. Please don't feel guilty about separating yourself from this man (ADHD and alcoholic and addicted to pot? sheesh!).
:(
Submitted by Grrr on
I haven't had a normal conversation in weeks. I am feeling so low. It feels so impossible.
<3
Submitted by NJTWINMOM on
H*U*G*S*
I know your pain.
Commonality
Submitted by Grrr on
I notice a common trait in all us NON ADHD'ers. We care so much and are giving, feeling, sensitive people. I wish I could be more hard hearted. Or cold hearted. For some of my friends they would leave and never look back and they would have done it years ago. I yearn to be one of those people. I see small improvements and these little crumbs buoy me and breathe air into me. I am slowly growing a thicker skin. Today I left him five minutes away from home when he got out of the truck to pick up his pot. I drove away after he was yelling obscenities at me. yelling, "USELESS around the house!!" "You Don't LISTEN!!" It felt good to drive away and he tried calling and texting on my cell but I didn't answer. He had to walk home. All the while texting me telling me he was leaving me etc. he apologized, wanting me to come pick him up. I said no. "I think you need a walk" he was calm and apologetic when he got into the house. I asked him to bring me the fixings for a sandwich because I was hungry. (We hadn't eaten dinner. He is too impatient to wait for it to cook) I asked if he wanted one and he said no. He doesn't like salmon. So he went to bed with no dinner or anything but complained about headaches from being hungry and about his rumbling stomach but wouldn't make himself something to eat. (Probably wanting me to make him whatever he wanted) I didn't take the bait with all his hints. Tomorrow morning will be fun with him not having eaten for 12 hrs. Cross fingers for me.
Keep at it, girl. Keep
Submitted by lauren07 on
Keep at it, girl. Keep standing up for yourself;) I am sweet, sensitive, caring, giving, etc, but I also refuse to let anyone treat me badly. ANYONE! I have an EX adhd partner who seems to respect me more for NOT putting up with him. I see you have the strength already. You'll get stronger.
Right there with you
Submitted by silent scream on
I'm feeling the same after another confusing crazy making argument last night. We decided to take a break---pull back and not see each other (we don't live together). This would be break up #42, haha.
I can't imagine how you're feeling if this happens every day and he's giving more negative than positive---and yelling. I've had it with the raised voice and not being able to get a word in when the craziness turns on. And you have the alcohol/pot issue going on too. Your post is over a week old, so I hope things are a little better?
If not, you need to protect yourself and take care of yourself. He needs you but he doesn't deserve you. We can grant them their disorder and try to understand, but that doesn't mean we have to be treated like crap and and have more unhappy days than happy. Not worth it. At the very least, can you go somewhere to get a break and let him be on his own while you think? Or can you get him out of the house and back to his mother's?
Something has to change. If he's not going to, then the situation needs to change and sounds like you'll be the one who needs to do it.
I agree. You shouldn't feel
Submitted by MFrances on
I agree. You shouldn't feel guilty for trying to separate. Please look into therapy for yourself.
All that wishing want change anything!
Submitted by c ur self on
I really don't know how you do it, I'm not one to walk out on my marriage commitment but your relationship doesn't sound healthy, it sounds dangerous...add/adhd and just having two different opinions about most things causes enough chaos, I do not think I would hang around if pot and alcohol abuse started up. I think y'all could use some counseling...Blessings on what ever you decide...