beyond frustrated

Just found out this morning that husband is still  $10,000 in debt even tho he told me last year that he had paid it all off. I want to leave him now more than ever. 

We've been married for almost ten years and I am exhausted and exasperated by his constant claims of "helplessness" and "incompetence" which until very recently were very successful in getting me to be responsible for everything.

He can't find anything, he can't remember anything, he can't get anywhere on time, everything is "too hard" for him. 

We have zero assets...we did have some savings but that is long gone. He finally got a full time job this year after 5 years of either not working or doing odd jobs that paid very little. 

We have been to counseling but only twice and both times it totally sucked. He refuses to go back. I don't want to go back either but we need help. I think it's too late to repair the marriage but we need someone to guide us through separating.

I don't want to split up b/c we have a young daughter but after 10 years of no follow through on things we have agreed to, I am so frustrated and so angry and so exhausted. We have the exact same conversations over and over again and nothing ever changes. I can't deal with his refusal to be a grown up anymore.  It's exhausting. I want more out of life.