Bipolar 2 & ADHD comorbidity effects on Marriage

When the husband has Bipolar 2 & ADHD that has been untreated until recently, this can cause an unimaginable amount of stress, etc over many years for the wife in a long-term marriage. He also has Oppositional Defiance Disorder.  What type of healing can the wife seek? How can the wife prepare for outbursts due to husbands mood swings? How must the wife take care of her health?  Individual & couples therapists and psychiatrists have not been very helpful in the past because they never diagnosed properly. In fact, they have done damage. How can the couple move forward and make life peaceful and loving? Thank you in advance for sharing.

Also what effect might this have had on children who lived through this & how can the parents help the children now that they are adults?    

Please give info about Bipolar 2 only, not Bipolar 1. I can't find much info about Bipolar 2 with ADHD or Bipolar 2 alone.