I fed the birds this morning. Filled the suet holders, checked the humming bird nectar levels, filled the cup with grape jelly for the orioles, put seed in the main feeder.
Then my spouse went and refilled the main feeder.
When I asked him, "Didn't you see that I already filled the bird-feeders?"
He said, "There wasn't enough seed in the bird-feeder."
If I do a job, I don't like it when he follows up and 'adjusts' what I did. It was filling up a bird-feeder for cripes sake!
I asked him if realized he almost always goes over EVERYHTHING I do. I said after 20+ years, it drives me crazy. It makes me feel like he doesn;t think I do things correctly. Ugh. He micro-manages/controls everything.
He went on his usual verbage tirade, telling me how I was wrong, my feeling were wrong, and what does it matter if he adds a bit more seed to the feeder.
I asked him if he can just acknowledge my feelings, and say he was sorry.
He said, "Ok. I can say I am sorry, even though there is nothing for me to be sorry for."
It is so much work to deal with all this mind strangling things.
The value of a relationship is determined by how it fills the needs of both parties.
My feelings are stomped on, ignored and devalued.