Birthday Disapointment

Just had yet another birthday for which my ADHD husband did not prepare. The last minute card and chocolates from the local drug store are hurtful. Didn't even remember to wish me a happy birthday. How am I not supposed to translate this as not caring? Try not to build up my hopes at times of birthdays, anniversaries, valentines etc. And remember that planning is difficult for him but ADHd is an explanation not an excuse. When we discuss things he says he cares but how am I supposed to believe this?