Blamed for ADD husband's behavior.

Does anyone else ever get treated as though they are their ADD spouse's mother?  Like friends and family commenting that "you should really make [hubby] eat better," "you should really tell [hubby] to lighten up," "it's really not good for [hubby] to leave his car such a mess, haven't you told him to clean his trash?"  You get the idea; being held accountable for the actions of another adult, as though he is a child you should just be able to make "behave," as though you are not already aware of and distressed by all of these noted deficiencies.  As though you have not TRIED, futilely, to improve these behaviors.

For context, these people even know hubby has ADD, is taking medication, is in therapy, etc.  But as the wife I apparently have the untapped magic power to effect immediate change where all of these other things have failed to do so!