Both partners have ADD

I have been reading the book The ADHD effect on Marriage and it assumes one partner is not ADHD. What are the specific challenges of both partners being ADD? I can see my husband and I in both of the roles but in different areas. I am very unorganized and can't seem to be organized while he is extremely organized. I don't have a need to escape or have problems with time but he does. I have felt the sting of being seemingly ignored and wanting to be cherished and accepted. He has also felt that he isn't accepted. Clutter distracts him. Noise distracts me. I have no problem with some clutter and often have a hard time finding homes for things. Any advice for when you both have it? We have been picking at each others weaknesses for twenty years and are on the brink of divorce. I didn't see that we both struggle with the same thing just in different ways till reading this book. I didn't know I even had ADD until recently. He has only known about six years. Thank you for any advice.