Bravado and Divahood

I am coming to understand more and more about this ADD with my DH.  It is not so much the condition itself but his particular coping with it.  His main objectives seem to be to avoid vunlerability and to amuse (divert?) himself.  When bravado (or divahood) and manipulation are mixed with ADD, an unsuspecting non-ADD spouse is crushed. If he would let me in, in a spirit of vulnerability and connecting, I would have a chance to love him for his efforts toward connecting with me. As it is, I am afraid of his ability and willingness to hurt me.