As a creative, I always knew I had organizational problems, but it wasn't until I was in a relationship for four years did the accumulation of all of my ADD tendencies take a toll. I didn't realize it during the relationship but so many of the symptoms fit now that I am about a year away from our break-up and newly self diagnosed with ADD within the last week or so.
My then fiance couldn't trust me with our finances b/c of my impulsive buying and past debt I had incurred partially out of unemployment and partially out of inability to cope with paperwork. He resented being the "boring dutiful one" when I offered to let him pay my bills. He always wondered why I couldn't try harder. He was always upset about the household chores being neglected. He found me ultimately irresponsible. By the time I lost my job because I couldn't focus well enough on excel spreadsheets proofreading figures (one aspect of my job), he told me while he didn't want to break up there was no way we could get married. He had a nightmare about how disorganized everything would be when we had children, because everything would be worse. When I lost my job I broke up with my fiance because I was so tired of trying to live up to his expectations. When we had gotten engaged I had suggested he take full reins of all of our finances. But he just wanted me to be able to care for my own independently.
In the end he was worried fiscally what a huge toll it would be to marry someone like me who couldn't be a partner in the true sense of the word. It was devastating to never find acceptance for my flaws. I don't really know where to go from here. It almost feel worse that all his fears were justified in not wanting an ADD partner in life. It makes me feel like an inadequate person and I feel overwhelmed and frightened I will never make a good wife/mother/spouse.