This is what I am struggling with now. It's sad and it's something I can't control. It is a reaction to his lack of effort. Good guy, big heart but does not emotionally fill my needs and it seems that he doesn't have any emotional needs for ME to fill which makes me realize that all these years, I have worked so hard for something that wasn't going to make a dent anyway. He is a robot, sorta speak. He has physical needs though, and I still have to fulfill those. He pays attention when he needs that but the feeling isn't one of romance just one of duty. This was coming down the pike. In 2007 I told him he was losing me and every year of our marriage I told him I felt lost and lonely. So I have grown up now, learned to accept, fill my void with friends and things I love to do but the feeling is one of compassion, being faithful, and loving since he has been a part of my family 25 years. How can I be in love with someone who chooses tv, IPAD games and his laptop at 11:45 PM and I sleep alone and then at 2:45 AM comes to bed and wants to pay me attention...only because he wants something? He is not evil and I don't hate him. I just don't feel like I couldn't live without him. The day has come when I have to figure out how to live with a friend and brother when I really only wanted a husband and a normal marriage. The butterflies are gone and the rush to get home to be together is slowed to a crawl. I no longer take days off to be together because its stressful and we don't do vacations because it's not romantic and he is hyperfocused on his gadgets and makes driving with him irritating and makes me anxious. He is always negative and stressed. It's just not who I am. 25 years and I am finally allowing myself to emerge and not trying to fix anything in him anymore but the result is still the same. He can be so neglectful and yet untouched emotionally. I am the only one suffering since I am wired correctly. Yes, all I can do is take care of me, fill the void. My God, this is hard. While I sleep alone and fill my void, I know that some other guy somewhere if lonely too and would love to be my husband. My husband loves to say "I love you" and I believe him, but love is not enough for me. I am not leaving physically but everyday since 1990, I have been slowly leaving emotionally. He has seen it and says that he IS making effort but that is only the effort HE wants to put in and to me its imaginary. He feels that telling me he loves me is effort. I stay so he doesn't break apart. I feel like I am taped together with Duct Tape because I have been so strong all these years. I am grateful to be resilient. Anyone else feel like they love their mate like a brother/sister?