Can it work?

My husband has lost his third job in the past few years. It's "never been his fault." In retrospect, I was blind...it was his time management and organization. I just bought his story.

He was diagnosed Thursday. This explains everything...the lapses in judgement, the forgetfulness (seriously, who forgets Valentine's Day? Then he told me, 'Well, I was going to get you something, but I forgot."). The leaving the gas turned on, on the grill...the leaving the iron plugged in. The wandering off in a store without telling me, and then I spend twenty minutes to find him. Chronically losing his keys, glasses, wallet....leaving wrappers out when making food...

My parents have already told me how they feel. I know, I'm married, and it's time for me to make my decision. If you had asked me yesterday, all I could think is, "I can't live the rest of my life like this. If we had kids, would he wander off in Home Depot and leave them?" Today, I think I'm optimistic. 

I feel lost, and am seeking support...I've been reading this forum scrupulously (oh, our counselor said that the reason we're having problems is because of his issue and I am WAYYYYY Type A)....can it work? Can we make it work despite all these glitches? 

Feedback is welcomed! 

You wrote: "I can't live the

You wrote: "I can't live the rest of my life like this. If we had kids, would he wander off in Home Depot and leave them?" Um...in a word, YES, he would. I can't tell you how many times my husband 'lost' the kids. I'd be frantic, and he'd think it was no big deal.

How does your husband feel about the diagnosis? Mine was SO happy...it gave him an excuse, and he played the '"ADD" card every time...."I have ADD, cut me a break". That gets old fast. That said, mine DID change. He got SO bad that I finally divorced him. I guess that shook him up enough, because he is very different now; good job, responsible life, is polite and caring to me (more than when we were married).

I think you, being a Type A, have to be careful that you don't try to control him. I know I did (well, he wouldn't control himself, and he was taking the family down with him!). I think part of the reason that my husband finally straightened out was that when we divorced, he didn't have me to blame for everything that went wrong in his life. If your husband is serious about working on his problems, and you can let him fail a few times (keep your finances as separate as possible; I learned that one too late), it might work. He has to learn through consequences (something we rescuers often don't let them face).

My ADHD husband is the

My ADHD husband is the opposite..he's very protective and would NEVER let the kids out of his sight in a public place. He's at the complete opposite of the spectrum on this..he would panic if one of them got lost/out of his sight. Interesing the differences in them amongst so many similarities.