Can meds help the adhd person becoming even a bit more caring?

Are the meds just for making the adhd slow down so that they can concentrate better and remember stuff? Or do they in any way help with the other huge problem area (at least for our marriage), the coldness and the lack of empathy? I would obviously be happy if my hubby suddenly became more responsible and I would have to help him less. I just don't think that would save our marriage. He is so cold and feels no remorse over his lack of compassion and loving. He is really unfair, loading his life on my shoulders and not giving anything back. If I dare to complain or cry, he hates me even more. These are the things that I will not live with anymore. Please tell me there is a pill that makes the emotional cruelty lessen.

My dh is going to a dr

My dh is going to a dr appointment for a diagnosis soon, so if he is prescribed meds, I probably won't know for sure until some months into it whether or not the concentration and focus will lead to empathy and at least some enjoyment of life with his family. We have a good laugh now and then (thank goodness for his humor) but on the days when his mind is racing, he shuts us all out and it's hard to feel like a yo-yo, never knowing where it's flying off to.

My frustration and heartbreak is mainly over his lack of empathy, more so than his irrational temper. 20 years is too long to go without a deeply, emotionally connected bond with my dh. Some couples can live superficially on just entertainment but I need more.

What is interesting is that it is getting closer to the appointment and he has been more attentive than I've seen him in a long time. It feels sincere. I am not sure if it's because he's forced himself into being focused in anticipation of the appointment. It is likely the brain is making itself slow down and think carefully the steps required for proper interaction. I am worried this sudden "empathy" is short lived and he will try to excuse himself from the appointment at the last minute which would be a blow for us.