Can we really be financially separate and still emotionally & psychologicallymarried?

My husband and I have been married seven years this November 2015, we have two small children. I have always worked full time and paid for the majority. My husband has a long history of securing work, being promoted, getting fired. The reasons are always the same, he has had professional coaches, therapists, my support (I am also a therapist), and countless other interventions. The outcome remains the same because of some deep issues he is not ready to resolve around confidence, vulnerbility, work ethic etc. in addition to his ADD symptoms such as highly distracted, disorganized, and lacks follow through. Recently I started to really look at our finances, which I have been in charge of and are completely out of control. I make enough money to support myself and our children, but I can not support my husband too. My husband does work part time and makes enough money to cover health insurance for the family, half of the mortgage, utility, childcare, and credit card debt. He does not make enough money to pay his student loans, for food, gasoline, car repairs or insurance, clothing, incidentals, or his cell phone. I am growing more and more resentful paying for him while he stays home and works part time at a low paying job. I have met with financial counselors, cut every single luxury cost, and done my own budgeting for many years sucessfully prior to marriage and always managed to save and have great credit. The simple fact is I do not make enough to support him and pay formyself and the kids. I have decied to stop paying for him and have him pay for his own phone, student loans, etc. When I do the budget with him being responsible for expenses directly related to himself I then have a surplus of thousands of dollars each month that I can then use to pay down our debt (we no longer are accruing debt but the fees are growing fast) much for aggressively and finally pay for other things we need to address (like squirrels in our attic!). He is angry at me, blames me, and feels I am runing his life. He does not argue that it has been hard for me, but clearly does not understand just how hard I have worked to support him and our kids. I feel this my only remaining strategy. My question is - have any of you ever separated your finances and been successful financially as well as emotionally/psychologically? Have you ever used this strategy and seen any relief for yourself? I feel so angry, resentful, hurt, and decieved that I need something to change to stop drowning. Our relationship is not in good condition, even though we still seem to manage to connect in some ways at times - but less and less frequently because the dynamics of me as the caretaker-him as the child are taking over.