I'm not going to write a book but lets say my life has steadily becoming a living hell with my ADD spouse. Unfortunately it took five years of jumping up and down, yelling, and begging to get him and his parents on board with that fact I thought something was "wrong" with him. He is on medication now and seeing a coach but I have not one ounce of patience, energy, or sympathy to suffer through him while he is going through treatment. I'm a Christian who believes marriage is a permanent union and take my vow of for better or for worse seriously but its like I'm dying from all the pain, hurt, confusion, chaos. I worked hard, do all the rights things, pick up all the peices, and its all I do. He was gone for 3 months for work(and then got fired) and it was pure bliss. We're on the road to complete utter financial ruin, every time I manage to get us(Of course I have to do it) on track he sabatoges it. The rest of the family looks at us with pity, no one respects us because we can't "get it together" . We are the children always begging for money or having to have people pay our way or can't go to anything. We are the ones always trying to explain why he is out of work once again. I'm the one embarassed when he blurts out something inappropriate or acts out in front of people. I'm the one everyone looks at when he start saying something crazy or butts in on a conversation and take sit over being rude. I can't even have a normal conversation with this person without it becoming a totally exhaustive venture. I am mortified when I hear that they can't stand him, or we're not invited somewhere because no one wants him there because he is obnoxious and weird. And its worse when I get those looks of pity like people feel sorry for me or are looking at me like they are glad they are not me. I get the comments (you had a kid with him?) I can't stand this!! Please give me encouragement. He has sucked every bit of happiness from me and I"m turning into this horrible angry bitter person. Sometimes either telling him just tget the hell away from me and get out of my life, or just packing up my daughter and driving far far far away from him. I'm ready to give up on trying.
He is not a bad person but at this point I don't give a rip if he has a disorder or not, I just can't take it anymore.
All I see here is how how the non ADD spouse has to do all the work, make all the hard decisions and adjustments. There doesn't seem to be any sympathy for the total financial, social, and emotional nightmare this can become for the non-add spouse. We're tired, we've done all we can, we've read the books, went to our own shrinks, tried to forgive and forget, tried to beg and please, tried to suffer in silence.
-Broken and Sad