Changing Your Self Talk and Setting Boundaries

Discoveries about my ADHD as they apply to me.  This is my new self talk, not my conscience feelings or how I respond to others directly.  It is most decidedly one sided, judgmental and highly opinionated.  It has to be for me to counter the old self talk which focused only on what was wrong with me and believing my problems with others were 100% me, not anyone else.  It also addresses some real life issues that I have encountered with some real life people in my life.  I also find it interesting how from this old self talk, the words coming out of my mouth were closer to ,"this is all about you, there's nothing wrong with me"....thought this could be useful to others. (forgive the profanity but this is how I talk to myself)  

In reality, I see both sides of the coin much better than I used.  The other interesting phenomenon I discovered was that every time I admitted to myself the qualities I don't like or feel I need to improve, how quickly I began to see them or in many cases, the opposites in others ( my strengths and weaknesses compared to other people ).....apply as needed. 

1. Visual /spacial/kinetic learner....almost exclusively. Forget verbal, don't even try it will only frustrate you. Sequential learning out of context is like being shot into space without an orbit....aimlessly and helplessly floating around with no understanding or direction. I hate that.
2. Don't believe anything others tell you about's really useful information as a reference to what you do that drives others crazy but don't take it personally....don't be a victim to your ADD. If you don't want to drive others crazy....then do something about it. Use this as a tool. If you don't care...then Fuck em.
3. Perfectionists, severe neurotics, people with anxiety disorders and narcissists hate make them crazy. Get over it! There is more wrong with them than there is with you. Do not try and please these people, it will only make you like them. Really!
4. Trust your instincts....they are probably right even if the book says they are wrong. Use your intuition and listen to the little voice that's saying "something isn't adding up here". There is a reason for it...find out what it is. You will find that your right most of the time. The times your not...chalk it up to experience. Get used to failure and don't let it get in your way. The best lessons are from mistakes and they are ones you will never forget even if it take a few times and a little trial and error. You'll get it, don't worry.
5. You see more than you realize ....don't assume others can see complex relationships and concepts. This makes it difficult to communicate to others. When they look like they are glazing over and don't understand....your right, they are and they don't. Find other ways to communicate. Others think you are trying to be a know it all or feel disrespected and that you're being condescending even when you're only trying to share thoughts and relate to them. Realize when this is happening and be selective to those you go on your verbal downloads about the inner workings of the universe. Know your audience!
6.Love yourself. If there are things that you want to improve for yourself then work on improving them....for you, not for anyone else. If you disrespect yourself, people will disrespect you. If you respect yourself and people still disrespect you it shouldn't matter. If people cross your boundaries, you have every right to let them know without getting angry or upset.
7. You'll know when your love yourself when it doesn't matter what other people think even if you are different than they are and they don't like it.
8. Don't use your ADD/ADHD as an excuse. Don't be a victim!! Take responsibility for your failings but at the same time, you don't have to apologize for who you are.
9. Don't try to hide your ADD behaviors. It doesn't work. People can see your behaviors much better than you can. Trying to hide them only makes you look insecure. Be secure. Take ownership of your ADD.....learn to love it and love yourself above all (#6).

10. He who smelt it, dealt it........predatory people use projection to pray on the weak or those who are easy targets to dump their shit onto. Don't take their shit. You have your own to deal with. They use projection to hide their own weakness's. Learn to spot's easy once you know how. It will tell you exactly what that person is trying to hide. The one sure fire way to get these people to avoid you is to hand there shit right back to them, in front of an audience is even better. They fear exposure of their own weakness's most of all.