Here I am plodding towards another lonely Christmas. Nothing has changed while HB has been away from me, in fact he has gotten a lot worse. His defensiveness is now off the scale. His family are indifferent and allow him to live with and off their elderly mother without challenge. When he has our youngest, he rings he constantly to complain about his behaviour. He also allowed him to go to the park alone (aged 10 in central London) and sleeps until 11am, leaving the child to wander around calling me frequently to ask what to do. He is off the scale angry, regularly sends texts that give me pain, and is generally in deeper denial than ever. He told me he was going to get a proper assessment, but I have received no communication about adding my input which he said would happen, and his denial seems to me to mean he is not allowing the idea of his problems to impinge. He is also smoking a great deal of cannabis, which seems to make his memory and effectiveness even worse. I really don't know what to do, and feel very low sitting here as usual running things single handed, and without family support. He asked me to see a marital counsellor with him, which I thought was a good sign. But it seems he only wanted her to confirm that I was the problem; then he refused to pay on the grounds that he has 'no money' - ie refuses to get a job. So that was the end of that. Although I don't have to live with the shocks of his numerous 'mistakes' every day, I still am very stressed by what I have been through and very sad for my children.