Circus update...

Well either this is the "it gets worse before it gets better" or the end one of the two!  Another blow up by my DH last night, all over reading a book.  I have been reading Melissa's book again; so last night I am sitting there reading while DH was on the computer and he asked me what I was reading.  I told him it was the ADHD and relationships book and commented that a lot of it really makes sense and I liked how it was written because it doesn't blame anyone and it is written from both perspectives, so each partner can see where the other one is coming from.  He seemed a bit interested so I simply told him (in a very nonconfrontational manner, just kinda like it was an afterthought) "we could read it together if you wanted to".  He flew into a fit, yelling that "I have bigger things to think about than ADHD and I'm working on my stuff, I just don't need to talk to you or anyone else about it", "you are trying to fix something that isn't broken again", "one of these days your gonna realize that nothing was wrong with our relationship and its gonna be too late", and my favorite "your so lucky I'm still here, I have given you more chances than I have ever given anyone.  I would have already left someone else".  Then I got the usual, "I have had this for 31 years and dealt with it just fine, I don't need any damn book or shrink and neither do you", "you married me this way, deal with it" and "you have no idea how close I am to being done with you and all this crap".  I'm lucky because he has given me a million chances?????  What about all the chances he has gotten!!!!  I'm not perfect by any means but I'm soooo sick of everything being my fault!!

This morning he refused to go to class again, because he was "tired".  More like he didn't do any homework last night and had nothing to turn in, but of course that is my fault too.  He couldn't do his homework because I "upset him" and all he could think of was smoking and he couldn't smoke "because I am forcing him to quit".  I didn't say he had to quit, I just showed him the bank statement and explained (very calmly at that moment the other day) that there is no way to fit cigarettes into the budget.  I'm sure he has a check stuck somewhere, so he will bounce it to buy them when I'm not home.  So this morning when he decided not to go I just said ok and left, I wasn't fighting with him.  I don't even want to go home after work...I know that sounds awful but the tension was still horrible this morning.

Ok so I probably sound like a complete bitchy, whiner...but I needed to get it out.  Thanks for letting me vent!

~~HUGS to all~~