Coming unraveled

This is my first venture into the forum world and I am hopeful to get some good advice. In recent weeks, the rug has been pulled from underneath me and I feel as though though the life I have been living has been somewhat of a lie. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and have a 2 1/2 year son. My husband also has a son from a previous marriage who is with us 4 days per week. We both work full time and have very busy but happy (or so I thought) lives. After an argument a few weeks ago, we uncovered several issues that we both agreed needed to be worked on. I thought these were just "typical" issues that a lot couples deal with: work, stress, family, how we talk to one another, etc. I sought help with a therapist and my husband agreed to come to therapy with me as well. I went to the first therapy appointment alone and later picked up Melissa's book on ADD and Marriage. Unfortunately, my husband picked up my book, read the title and immediately I saw the walls come up. He has never been officially diagnosed but completely identifies with many, many of the traits of the disorder. He has previously talked openly about it but was somewhat apprehensive to seek help because he does not want to take medications. Needless to say, an argument ensued. He now completely denies having ADD and blames me for all of our issues. He thinks I am a control freak, rigid and I have changed since I had our son. He says he misses the "old, fun, me". It's so classic. The more I read the book and this site, the more I identify with spouses of ADD sufferers. He agreed to go to counseling with me but only after I "fix my problems". He is a very successful highly functioning nurse who runs an entire department. He is very good with money and with our children. I just don't know where to turn next. I find myself doubting everything about myself, my character and our life together. Can anyone else relate?