I am not actually married but I love my partner very much and I want her to be well.
I believe that everyone is on a sort of spectrum when it comes to ADHD or ADD. I have attention deficite problems myself and I think our societies functions, demands, and expectations create this kind of behavior in everyone to a degree.
Anyway, my issue is that my partner in my mind functions very well in some areas. She makes a decent living and she has a credible career, especially for being quite young. We have been together for a year and I've noticed that when it comes to engagements she has, especially with her job that involve scheduling, traveling, important landmarks in her life and in her job, she often ends up disclosing a lot of those important one on one conversation topics in public with friends, or with complete strangers. And I don't ever recall her communicating these things to me prior, when I really believe they should be shared with me at some point of reasonable time.
I then feel very left out and un important. I often wonder am I not engaging her right or asking the right questions or listening well enough. We've talked about it and she identifies with the issue as she forgets she thinks she has told me , something but perhaps that was in her head. I mentioned to her at one point that I think she has ADHD, and she wasn't upset but had some disbelief. I think she has ADHD because of the way she has great difficulty with cohesive conversations, organization, she is very easily distracted and I've noticed this and when we speak and she literally looks off and stares at puppies playing its like she is totally transfixed and I could be talking about my dreams aspirations or a very bad day. I've just dealt with it but there are other avenues of this behavioral issue that are hitting me too hard. She doesn't think she has it but I am pretty positive its affecting her career and our relationship.
I don't know what to do I've expressed my concern with her and she knows I feel this way. I feel so embarrassed and estranged to her when these things occur. I don't feel as if I'm an integral part of her life.
Can anyone relate?