My SO of 18 years has just been diagnosed as ADHD. He was diagnosed because I asked for a divorce after many years of thinking about it after having discovered his online porn addiction. He says he wants to fix us but I think I'm too far gone. I'm reading the adhd effect in marriage and almost all of it is familiar but I just don't care. I would like to be supportive while he repairs his relationships with the kids but I really don't feel like there is an us to fix.
I don't nag, I don't parent I simply don't interact. Years of being living with him being reliably unreliable and his false memories have driven me over the edge. I've been disconnected for years, just trying to maintain some semblance of family. That being said I have always been the one to say I love you, and I do, but when you get nothing back it is difficult to maintain. I have overcompensated to the point where I am the slave, I can have no life despite the fact that I have a professional career - no life in that it is work, kids and then everything else. He sails in to eat, sleep and have his washing done all the while being surprised and angry that I feel lonely. To make things more complicated we live in his country not mine so leaving is even more difficult than usual.
The discovery of the porn addiction just made everything worse. Any hope was dashed right there. I am almost certain that I can never have sex with him again. I can't compete with the ever youthful ever ready no strings porn chic, nor do I want to. So I am feeling completely done.
Advice would be welcome.