I am not married, but this is the only site where I felt everyone understood what each other was going through. I have been with my partner a mere 7 months. Sounds crazy that I find it diffucult already doesnt it? But, yes. I have. I feel so unloved at times, he is the most confusing person i have ever met. I have spent hours crying at this behaviour.
Once, he asked me if we could meet up after work for sex. I told him that this wasnt possible as it wasnt exactly the best time of the month for me. He then asked if I would 'plesure him'. I agreed. We talked about it for a while and he suggested that I dress up for him. I wasnt exactl keen on the idea as I was tired but of course, I agreed. AS ALWAYS. I spent 6 hours getting ready, showered, tan, the works. it had hit 9 o clock and there was no sign of him so I rang, he then told me that he 'couldnt be bothered' and that he wanted to watch the football. This made me feel so stupid and worthless. I had spent all this time getting myself all pretty for him and he didnt care. So, after I explained how hurt I was he arrived down to my house to apologise...Well, thats what he said but once he knew what I was wearing he was very obviously wanting me to do him a 'favour' rather than him apologising. I dont exactly know how it happened but he ended up turning it all around on me and i apologised! Crazy? yes. when i refused to engage in pleasuring him he snapped at me, told me i had hurt his pride and that he was going to get 'it' else where 'if i knew what he meant'. I just dont understand! I told him that I felt very stupid for spending such a long time getting ready when he was more interested in football and that the moment had past and i didnt feel sexy or attractive anymore. this didnt work and he again repeatedly told me i had hurt his pride. I told him that he had destroyed my confidence, he relpied 'good'.
this is only one way that he has made my confidence drop. I used to have bucket loads. but now it seems that my life revolves around him, my friends think i am an idiot and that im 'undr his thumb' but unfortuantley its true. I love him and so I put up with this behaviour. Of course, I have tried to change it, he always apologises and tells me that he wil have more respect for me etc etc.. but wrds are cheap, and his mosr certainly are.
Im only 18. Life shouldnt be difficult like this at my age should it? I dont know what to do, i know i dont have the strength to leave him. I dnt want to leave him.
Compared to alot of the stories that i have read on here i feel quite silly at mine. It is nowhere near as bad as what some of you have to deal with. But, I feel like i have had to mature so much. I feel married.
I used to be so happy, out going, a party girl! The 'crazy, fun loving, exciting' girl that always managed to make sure everyone had a brilliant night out.
Now I am a carer. I look after him, i love him, I clean for him, cook for him, put up with his anger, cry an unhealthy amount, iv neglected my friends an my responsibilites to attend to him. He is literally my focus all of the time. I feel hurt, used and abused. but I stay. Why?
I want to spend my life with this man. hes 21. but why?
And now here i go defending him. He is loving and caring when he wants to be. he'll send me romantic messages, tell me he loves me more than anything, spend time and money on me and laugh and joke with me. But he can turn so quickly.
I dont know what to do..
I only want to help him.
am i being a childish 18 year old girl with no clue? Or, am I getting very upset at problems that are minimal? I just dont know anymore.