My husband and I have been marred for almost two years. He once mentioned when we were dating that he thought he probably had ADHD, and from what I have read and experienced while we've been married, I can understand why he thinks this! There are lots of challenges we face in money management, frustration levels, household chores, but these all seem to be improving to "good enough" when we work through them. One area, though, is not improving.
Almost immediately after we married, I began to feel lonely because he seemed so far away whenever we would talk or catch up on our day. It's much easier to ask him questions and listen to him than to try to get him to show real interest in me or my thoughts. Sometimes I wonder how many weeks we can go without him noticing that he knows nothing about me or my life! However, he is very sensitive, and if he notices that I am sad or blue, he immediately pays lots of attention to me. His ability to engage in a conversation where I'm sharing goes from nil to 110% -- better even than my female friends!
I feel like I'm getting more high maintenance as the months pass because when I'm sad or seem perturbed, my husband is able to listen better and focus. If I'm just interested in carrying on a normal conversation -- he seems utterly bored and distracted. Please help me! I am a naturally sunny person and do not like to see the way I am changing. I also feel like I take advantage of my husband when I cultivate the negative in order to feel connected to him and important to him. P.S. -- when we've talked about this, we both see the same pattern, but don't know what to do. Trying harder doesn't seem to work . . .