Contagious passivity

Does anybody else have an ADD spouse who spends a big part of every day closed in and resting in bed?

I thought I could live my life independently in the next room. But I'm starting to feel deeply affected by it.

When he shuts himself in, it's often for hours, or until the next day. It may mean illness, an inflammatory situation, medication side effects, depression, exhaustion or that he is overwhelmed, or even content. I usually can't tell the situations apart, they tend to look the same. Communication is very slow and reluctant on his part,  so it's hard to be supportive, except with practical matters (is that me keeping poor boundaries?).

It stresses me out. It makes me feel vulnerable. Kids pick up the low energy at home. I try to counter it, which is exhausting. I feel physically weak by spending time near my husband. I force myself to be active, but it doesn't come naturally. I feel the weakness acutely, like a threat to my sanity.

Is there any way to avoid this contagion?