Coping w. ADHD wife

I am very new to this, so I'm going to keep this post short.  I was a widower and recently remarried a widow, and we are both retired (in our early 60s).  She has ADHD (self-diagnosed, untreated).  She told me she was ADHD, and I did a little research on the subject, but I sure didn't learn enough to know what I was really getting into.  Now I'm in it.  Wow.  I read of the struggles of others on this site (a site which I discovered not too long ago), and I've noticed that most (all?) the ADHD spouses are the husbands.  I wonder if this is unusual for the wife to be ADHD?  Anyway, we do have many good days, but lots of bad days too, days where I'm the problem (it's rarely ever her, almost always me in her eyes), and I knew what she was like before we married! so I just better accept it or "there's the door!"  I am not really permitted to have a voice or opinion independent of hers.  I'm certain she will never agree to any treatment because she only believes in all natural type healing and does not like medical doctors.  And if she knew I was on this site writing this I'm fairly certain she would "blow up" at me.  In some ways I feel trapped, but the fact is, I married her for better or for worse.  I have no intention of leaving her, so I am just struggling to cope with our new lives together.  I have taken this opportunity to write here because I just need to express myself to someone, somewhere, honestly without the fear of argument or petty retaliations.  I'm not sure how often I'll be able to log on here, but it's a start.