Could it be Real?

What's up with sudden shifts in reality for ADD?

After about 7 years of battling against what looked like irresponsible, childish behavior, my husband was willing to consider ADD as a possible explanation. At the time, we went together to the general internist and he was given a script for Adderall. At first, it did seem to help. Three years later, that "treatment" is falling horribly short of addressing the issues.

For the past year, all of us around him have been crashing and drowning in the flood surrounding this Wave he's been riding... the business he started while in the throes of what I suspect was adderall (or some unknown factor) induced mania.

Now - he has had a couple other individuals besides just me telling him that he has gone too far, that he is out of control, that the whirlwind he creates while "medicated' is far from focused or productive. One of the people who is confronting him about this is a man he seems to respect. My husband does not rage against this man, who has filled the role of Operations Manager in his business, but we have seen him try to sneak around the controls which the guy has tried to put into place. It's like he fills a Father role for my husband, although he's only a few years older. It's like there's now a "Dad" alongside my role (in husband's eyes) of "Mom", I am only guessing about all this, but that's how it appears to me.

So now, Mr Operations Manager has expressed all of the same frustrations with husband that I have, including the feeling of having been belittled by him. The cycle has been what you might expect - my husband will claim innocence of motives, beg, lie, spiel off loads of his rationalizations.... anything to deflect the Mr. O.M.'s criticisms. O.M. is a kind, caring, Christian man. He's known my husband for some time, but never worked closely with him. Also, he remains enough in his own head, that he never saw this side of it all. Now he sees it all and there's a very real possibility that he may walk away. This would destroy the business and we all recognize that. NOW husband is taking note that his issues are not light or momentary. Last night, he actually appeared to be humbled. So I told him that our counselor has described him as delusional. narcissistic, and now he has agreed that there is more to the problem than his previous admission that he is "a bit disorganized". He has agreed to get a full psych evaluation next week. I will believe that when I see it.

Last night I heard alot of "I don't mean to...",  "It was not my intention...", and the like. It's as though he is totally out of touch with the side of him that is so manipulative, a con artist. And I wonder whether I am being conned now.

What do you all think about such a sudden transformation and willingness to admit that there is much more going on here... possibly much more than add? Could it be a genuine realization and conviction?

Even if he fully intended last night to act on his promises, I have seen how everything can change in the blink of an eye, as his hyperfocus leads him down another trail.  Thank you.