Counseling Fails

Has anyone else had therapists that truly don't get how big of a deal ADHD is in a ADHD(him)+neurotypical(me) relationship? Our couples counselor is helpful in some ways but we again asked her for help tonight with navigating the ADHD effect we're dealing with, and she seems to think it's not that big of a deal. I was very clear we know that ADHD-related issues aren't the only problem we have to overcome, and I wasn't saying it was responsible for everything, but it is very front and center in some of our daily struggles, and my partner and I both need help in learning to handle it better. I've talked to my individual therapist about it too, and even she has said that ADHD isn't the important part, and that it's really about communication. Yes, communication is very important, and again, I know ADHD isn't the *only* part, but why don't they understand that it's a really big part?!? Both my partner and I know and accept that he has ADHD, we both know that he is not his diagnosis, but we also know and accept that it impacts our relationship in a big big way. Do people just not understand until they've lived in it? I don't get it. These are therapists. This is their profession. How do they not understand that it's a really big deal?