I have been struggling in my 10 year marriage with a partner who is likely ADHD [I pretty much "knew' that when we got together from my Special Ed teaching background]
but he does not accept that there may be a need for assessment and strategies.
I've come to the conclusion that the only one I can change is me and my actions/ reactions so today I wrote myself a daily prayer for "Transformation and Self Growth."
I have printed it out and will put it on my mirror and say it daily! I hope this might also show my partner that I am willing to work on things from my side that have contributed to where we find ourselves now.
Su’s Daily Prayer for Transformation and Self Growth
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can,
the wisdom to know it’s me and the grace to embrace a new way of being.
Please help me to release what no longer serves me or my relationships:
sadness, hopelessness, despair, pessimism
frustration, resentment, irritation, sarcasm, unkindness, anger, bitterness
nagging, giving unnecessary reminders
the need to be right, to “parent my partner”
the need to control the situation
the need to have things done “my way”
Please also help me to focus on being and becoming the best version of myself:
happy, hopeful, joyful, optimistic, enthusiastic
caring, kind, considerate, respectful, empathetic, loving and full of grace
a skilled and active listener who does not interrupt and who does not tell “too long a story” when sharing
slim, strong, flexible, fit
Thank you very much. I will
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Thank you very much. I will try to adopt these behaviors, too.
That's good, Su. You know,
Submitted by Where Have All ... on
That's good, Su. You know, that very prayer, the Serenity Prayer, has played a major role in my life with an ADD spouse who also will not get evaluated (was diagnosed with it as a child) or treated. I was in the throws of an argument with him over staying in our suburban/city home or buying raw land and living in a tent....yeah....with a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old....yeah! I was about to have a nervous breakdown. His rich daddy came down too to help him buy the land....because we have no money. It was the edge of the proverbial cliff. So instead of going south to look at the land, I went off by myself to a monastery to pray and seek peace and get recentered. In the kitchen of this humble place hung a watercolor print of the Serenity Prayer, along with a few other statements. one which meant the most was: "Accepting hardship as a way to peace." The most amazing part was that the staff gave me the print...free of charge. It meant so much and hangs now by my front door. Your post was a good reminder of this and that God surely is with us.
Thanks for sharing
Submitted by StumpedInSeattle on
I should memorize this prayer and recite it to myself everytime I come face to face with my wife's ADHD, which is many, many times a day. She won't get diagnosis or treatment so I guess I can only work on changing myself. But it's hard!