dating and ADHD

Just a view month ago I started dating again after finally recovering from a failed marriage ending in divorce about 2 years ago. I met my date back in July and we were attracted to each other immediately both physically as well as spiritually. After a few dates, he mentioned he has to disclose something/tell me a secret as he put it. He said he was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago after his son was diagnosed (if I recall correctly). I had no idea what that meant for adults ( I have heard of it in kids and what some of the effects are...). He also mentioned he is on medication (stimulating) and sees regularly a counselor since about 5 years. He is separated and divorced for about the same time after 20 years of marriage. I felt empathy and compassion when he told me about the shock he experienced when his wife walked out on him from one day to the other, possibly influenced by her family. The hardest part for him seems to be that his daughter (20) and son (21) left as well, most of their belongings are still in their room in the house. Lot's of memories for him, most of them good. He has a very good relationship with his son who is in college in Colorado. His daughter seems to be more distant and relates more to her mother (this interpretation is based on his stories and interactions with his daughter - I never met them). He is very creative and finally is able to combine his passion and work, he currently starts an interior design company. He is super focused on his business and his kids wellbeing, which gives us not very much time to meet and get to know each other. Many times when we meet he is very tired, so I try not to overwhelm him wit my energy and enthusiasm. I traveled the world and lived in many different places and continents and cultures. I worked with many charismatic leaders and pride myself to be tolerant to many different viewpoints, opinions, lifestyles and can deal with conflict. However, I have a significant problem with is his communication style or the lack thereof. At times I don't hear anything from him (neither text nor phone call) for 10 days including week ends! I felt very frustrated at times, but gave him time and didn't say anything (just left short voice mails and text messages or e-mails). When I observed strange behavior in social settings (he joint me at an event  - I am coaching 3 young underprivileged girls - he stayed distant and did not communicate or connect with other participants until the very end). After that incident and other observations about constant tardiness - which I have no problem to manage and cope with - I started reading more about ADHD especially with regard to medication and ADHD and the effect on relationships. The lack of attention started to hurt significantly, our dates seemed to be third or fourth priority for him and at times were forgotten....(that just happened this week end). I started reading more about ADHD and made a very surprising discovery. Based on all the information I found and after reading just a few free pages out of Melissa's book, I recognized many familiar patterns from my relationship and marriage with my ex-husband and came to the conclusion that not the alcoholism might have been our problem, but he might have ADHD (also based on some incidents he mentioned about his childhood)! I acknowledge I do not have the experience and background to diagnose ADHD, but this revelation helped to explain many events and actions and also my reaction based on frustration and anger (which I am not proud of, but I did not know what else to do or how to react....). I ordered Melissa's book today and hope to get more answers or be able to understand better.... One thing is for sure I will do everything I can to avoid to make the same mistakes twice, that might even mean not to enter into a relationship with a partner diagnosed with ADHD. I will also seek advice how to better communicate my needs with the man I date without upsetting him (setting boundaries). One result of my research is that I will try to schedule with him exercise dates. He also might not be efficiently medicated, but that is beyond my influence ( I would be interested learning about new research with regard to medications). For my own health and wellbeing I might have to stop dating him, if I do not see change in his behavior soon (which will be very hard as I fell in love with him). Financially and professionally, I am in a somewhat difficult situation myself right now after my divorce, trying to build a new life for myself in a country/continent I moved to 9 years ago to follow my ex-husband. Hence, I need a partner I can rely on (who does what he says he will do), who is attentive, responsible and available as well as capable to represent with me at social events. My conclusion is, I might not have what it takes to enter into a relationship with him, if he at all would be willing....