The Death of a Dream...

I am new...  My husband was diagnosed about 9 years ago with adhd.  i keep holding on to hope for a marriage with a partner who is consistently the same each day  but i fear it will never come to pass.  we can have one good day, then 8 bad days, then 2 good days then 2 bad...  IT IS NEVER SMOOTH or consistent.  Our arguments about this invade our lives constantly and take us away from what is important:  working, raising a family and loving one another. 

I could solve all of this as the wife who would continue to always concede, fix the problems and pick up the pieces.  but i am loosing strength to do so.   i get scared thinking of growing old with a man whom i will have to care for more and more...  I already do everything from finances to reminding him to take his medicine and much more.

does the medicine (generic adderall) ever loose its potency and therefore someone must keep uping the doses?  it seems as if the problem is getting worse as the years go on. 

how long before concerta becomes generic?  that seemed to work better for him but we are without insurance at this time.

can you build up a "tolerance" to the adhd meds?

so happy to find this group.  I think you will all be my new life line.  I love my husband but i am beginning to resent the fact that I seem to be the caretaker rather than the wife/lover.  i have no interest in a romantic relationship with someone whom i am constantly caring for.  I am very disappointed in how this all turned out.  19 years of marriage...