My Husband was just diagnosed about 2 months ago with ADHD (the combined type). We have been married 2 1/2 years and together for almost 4 years. I just don't feel like we have a relationship anymore and I'm not sure we ever really did since we rushed too much in moving in together and we got married after only knowing each other 1 year and a half. I feel too much like we're just room-mates who rarely talk to each other. I'm really tired of feeling like I'm the only one who ever makes the decisions and initiates sex or conversations. We usually just watch tv and spend time on our phones when we're in the same room. My biggest issue is that I don't feel like I'll ever be able to trust my Husband or completely feel safe with him. My Husband has cost us money in the past with his financial mistakes. He has racked up like 5 parking tickets in the past two years and he didn't research the health insurance at his work enough before signing us up for it (it ended up being way too expensive) so we had to waste a lot of money on that. He also initially told me there were no problems with our latest car inspection and then he told me just recently that one of our tail-light coverings needs to be replaced for us to pass our next inspection (it will cost $50-100). I still resent him for backing into a truck when he was pulling out of a parking lot shortly after we got our car 2 years ago cuz he wasn't paying enough attention. He has a tendency to drive pretty fast while he's driving too and I don't feel comfortable riding in the car with him.
We are both seeing a therapist (who seems to be placing most of the blame on me for our problems and it only makes me feel worse/more depressed). He has been on 2 daily doses of 10 mg Adderall for about 2 weeks now. I really expected to see more of an improvement and while there has been a little change in him while he's on the medication, I don't find that it's enough for me to tolerate in the long run. He works late though so on the weeknights I see him while the medication is working for 2 hours tops. I need him to be able to keep his symptoms under control at all times or I won't be able to be around him much longer. Lately my health has been more problematic than usual. I don't seem to have as much of an appetite anymore and I have been getting migraines on a daily basis (while I used to get them rarely). I don't want to have to sacrifice my health for this marriage to work out. My Husband definitely wants us to work out and he is willing to try anything which is why I haven't left him yet. I don't feel like I love him anymore though and I don't feel attracted to him. He is no longer the same person I married. I don't know if I can ever be content with the fact that he has ADHD. I have never dated anyone with ADHD before him and I'm not a patient person by any means.
Should I give the medication more time to work and my Husband more of a chance to try or should I just leave? I am not sure how long it really takes for the right medication to really improve a person with ADHD. Also, If I do decide to leave him I'm really concerned that he will just giving up trying to improve at all and fail to pay any bills that he is responsible for, negatively affecting my credit.