My husband and I will be separating soon, and I am working hard to detatch. I know I have posted tons here, but I am really REALLY struggling with this one.
Its very hard to detatch for me. Its hard not to care about whats going on in his life. I think it makes it very hard to continue to move forward when we keep falling back into our "normal" routines. We watch TV together, eat together, he tells me he loves me when he leaves and he calls me at lunch while at work. Initially when I finally made the decision I could not take his threats anymore (threats about leaving, his constant one foot in, one foot out BS) I found it easy to just stop. I stopped talking to him, stopped interacting etc. ANd at first, he seemed to not even care that I did - if he even noticed. But then he started making changes, doing the work around the house he promised, even started bringing me water when I was working out etc. Thats when we started interacting more, telling jokes, talking about our day etc. He started work a couple of weeks ago - and he calls me during his lunch breaks etc.
I get so confused thinking that things are starting to turn around, but then I remember that I am fooling myself. So I am looking for advice on how to detatch. I think for him - he probably wont even notice or care, but for me, I need to remove myself from this trap I have laid... AGAIN. I am thinking maybe I need to talk to him and let him know that doing things that are "spouse" like is not good since he is planning on leaving. That maybe we can be polite, but that telling eachother that we love eachother all the time isnt a good thing to do. That maybe we do need to figure out how to separate our lives more? And then on the OTHER hand, that part of me that is an idiot who really wants to believe that we can get through this is like - just keep letting things go the way they are and everything will get better.
I am tired of feeling the way that I do. So many little things still bother me and i feel like if I could detatch that they would not bother me so much. Any advice? Anything you have found that works? That doesnt work?