Main question: has anyone had experience with you or a spouse being evaluated for ADHD while serving in the military?
Hi, I am new to the forum but both myself and my long term boyfriend (we plan on marrying but haven't yet; we live together) have read Melissa Orlov's book. Prior to finding it I suspected he had ADHD mostly by association with my own close friends who are diagnosed and with whom I've discussed life with neurodiverse brains (I'm on the autism spectrum myself). My best guess as a non-professional in this is he could possess the high functioning autism + ADHD combo that is very common among us on the spectrum (in this sense I'm the weird one without ADHD).
My boyfriend is extremely intelligent, passionate about certain hobbies, ambitious, and a complete space case. The last one has gotten worse and worse as he's begun his active duty military service post-college. He has a very stressful and demanding job as a first tour officer and he's an introvert constantly surrounded by people at work. I empathize with how exhausted he is at home but I also know this could be manageable if he could get some sort of help for the ADHD symptoms he says "explained his life" when he read Ms. Orlov's book.
My main question is concerning the fact that he's in the military. He absolutely refuses to be evaluated for a possible Dx as he says if he gets diagnosed (likely) and if anyone prescribes him a medication that is banned for his job, he's at risk to lose security clearance or even his entire career. I know this is a huge risk but at the same time his rampant symptoms make us both miserable. He can't focus on his projects or hobbies like he used to. I've done my best to make it better for him but at some point it's out of my hands.
There is hope despite this as even with the risk he plans to be evaluated after earning a big qualification which he's supposed to get in September. This has been being worked on for this entire calendar year and probably longer and involves him studying for it and putting in long hours. I'm just afraid he may decide to wait until -insert next milestone here- to be evaluated once he gets this one. Procrastination is basically his middle name, especially with stuff he doesn't want to do/makes him uncomfortable.
Any thoughts are appreciated - thanks!