I'm once again disappointed with my kids dad (ADD) and his reaction to our daughter wanting to play lacrosse for the summer. In the spring, he took her to 1 or 2 games, stayed for 1, and took her to practice once a week- down the block from home. I was at every game, stopped at every practice after work and took her home. I paid for the season and made sure her uniform was purchased, paid for and clean every week. Our daughter wants to play for the summer. I asked her dad: Our daughter was asked to play summer lax league- it's mostly away games about 20 minutes Away from home I believe. I don't have anymore info than that yet. She would like to play. There's a game Thursday night and I can prob get her a ride there. I can pick her up/meet her. Are you on board? I expect to be able to get her rides often but that may not be the rule. I have not committed her yet. He wrote back: She has also been talking about soccer. I will not commit without knowing some type of schedule. if it will be like the other one than I am not sure.
I'm so disappointed. Our daughter is doing nothing for the summer. He won't pay for anything. He does not have a regular job to report to. We own our own business (he plays, I manage). I work full time and commute 3 hours a day. I'm just so disappointed that he does not support his kids. Although he would post on Facebook if he showed up at a game... How do I continue to deal with the disappointment? What do I say to the kids?
I can relate
Submitted by add on
I just wanted to write and say that i know what you are going through. I felt so badly reading his response to your email as it is all too familiar to me. I know it is so difficult and heartbreaking. All we can do is be there for our children. Our kids will always know who was there and who wasn't. You sound like a wonderful Mom.
I want to second that you are
Submitted by copingSAH on
I want to second that you are a great mom. You want your child to have a fun summer and there's nothing wrong with that. My kid got into sports this year and he's been in really great shape both physically and mentally from better health and team sportsmanship.
If your spouse throws in a wrench (i.e. what about soccer), it's just a devil's advocate mechanism. I notice my spouse will always do that. In our case, he was always throwing in something like "what about boy scouts?" I know that my husband would not like to give up his TV weekends to accompany his son for seasons at a time.
If I suggest A, he will follow up with B, even though nothing's been thought through remotely but it's like trying to communicate with an antagonist. The worst thing is when the entire discussion is dropped because of that one "wrench in the cogs". If our son does well, somehow he jumps onto his son's social media outlet and has to mention he was there or take some form of credit or spotlight. This kind of grandstanding also detracts from our child's personal athletic accomplishments.
I suggest you become PROACTIVE. If you are able to sign your daughter up for the Lacrosse, do so! I highly recommend you do that. For my son, he managed to always find a friend to ride to the school or bus depot as well as ride his bike to and from the meets. He is always making plans with friends to practice their sport. I go over the bike safety and rules on the road with him frequently and while I can't get away I make sure he had money or a packed lunch to go and had him make sure his cell phone was charged and active while on the road. Good luck, it will be the best thing you ever did for your daughter. If you feel she is old enough, it's time to let her earn her wings out there in the world.