I'm 36 and I've displayed symptoms of ADHD my entire life. I was officially diagnosed in college... I didn't pursue any treatment, however. Here's the thing-- due to my intelligence and creativity, my parents and teachers always had an incredibly high evaluation of my potential.... by which I always felt oppressed. So when I hit 19 or so, I rejected my perceived potential and sought happiness through a "live for today" mentality. This led to becoming a total pothead, dropping out of college, completing 2 trade schools, continuing to be a total pothead, and jumping from job to job.
I met my wife 10 years ago, during the time I spent trying to figure out how to be a grown-up. She also wasn't focusing on the future, and we got along incredibly. She was very responsible but was wound up tight, and I had no life skills but was a calming force. It worked.
When we got pregnant my wife and I quit smoking pot. It's been amazing, but we had no idea the level to which we were both self-medicating.... I was managing the side-effects of ADHD, and she was managing her OCD.
I don't think anyone could imagine a more explosive combination... One partner with ADHD and one with OCD??? Holy moly. Needless to say, the idiosyncrasies of my ADHD drive her crazier than most people, and it's come to a breaking point.
Here's my progress and hope: I've started the incredibly emotional process of finding the solutions to my personal and our marriage's obstacles, and the accuracy with which the free chapters of Melissa Orlov's book describe my personal experience has given me hope that there is a proven process with by which my wife and I can thrive in our relationship.