Divorce/breaking point questions

Hello everyone,

I haven't been on the site for a while to read some experiences and was a little shocked when I signed in to see that I first started seeking answers a little over 8 years ago...E.I.G.H.T. YEARS...went by in the blink of an eye.

I have finally reached my breaking point; long-story-short, through medication for newly diagnosed bi-polar tendencies and cognitive therapy of my own, I have decided what I need to do but still just unsure, so I am now in the process of "seeking the counsel of many"...so the main question is, for the folks on here that decided to eventually leave or divorce their ADHD partner, what was your personal breaking point? Also, in what way did you carry out your plan of action? For me personally, it seems easy when there is a severe argument or fight to want to pack up my belongings and head out or even just leave with the shirt on my back after 16 years of this.  However, when things are going well (as they have been recently except for a few instances here and there) like since I came back last year from staying with my mom for 7 months after my father passed away, I am having trouble approaching or determining a good time to tell him that I simply cannot live like this any longer, because I know he will blow up. I am getting too old and no longer have the mental energy or even physical stamina to carry on like we have for this long.

Just asking for personal experiences and not saying that divorce is the only or even healthy answer, etc., there's just a lot more to the story (mental and emotional abuse included that I did not want to acknowledge or accept) that have helped me arrive at my decision. 

Blessings to all and thank you for reading.

xoxo - julie jay