Hello, I'm new here and have never written on a forum before. I was diagnosed with ADD about 7 years ago, I was given drugs to "help", but I was never told I should also explore other methods of self-help. My husband was more recently diagnosed with ADD but because he was also deeply depressed, nobody has paid attention to the ADD. If I share all my horrific details, this will go on forever! I guess what I mainly want to say this...If you are thinking about separation; DON'T do it. If you are thinking about divorce; please don't. Our divorce will be final in 3 weeks and this is the absolute worst thing I have been through in my entire life. I truly feel "ripped" apart from my spouse, in every sense of the word. We were married for 21 years and have three grown children and our first grandchild will be born any day now. Our marriage was always a struggle and now that I'm researching more about ADD, so many things are making sense. I won't say that ADD was the complete cause of all of our problems but things like TIME, are very important to my husband. He would constantly ask me "how long will that take you" or "when will you be back from the market". I would say I didn't know or I'd make a very bad guess and he would get SO angry at me and feel I was disrespecting him and mocking him. I truly have no sense of time and now I understand that it's not my fault. We lost our house seven months ago. My husband says it's because I mismanaged our money. I don't completely agree with that, but I will say that I overspent on my "projects" and then I'd put them aside because I'd get overwhelmed. So many things like this are coming to memory as I learn more from the wonderful podcasts and websites I'm exploring. I so desperately want to try to make things work out with my husband, the man I love. But he won't have anything to do with me now. He is done with trying so hard at our relationship and says he needs to time to heal. He has made bad decisions in his life and career that he regrets horribly and is extremely depressed about. There is no infidelity in our marriage.
You married your spouse because, at one time, you could see the good things about them that you were attracted to. Please try to focus on those things. If you separate, it is WAY too easy to move it into a divorce. Separation brings jealousy and resentment, it does NOT help you to grow closer together. Divorce brings about such an extreme feeling of rejection and I cannot help but take it personal, even though he has taken part in the problems too. Please don't think divorce is an option. Put up with the bad and focus on the good. Work with the issues of ADD or whatever else plagues your relationship. Husband and wife need each other in hard times, not separation. If you separate, all the same problems follow you but added to that, is the extreme pain from being ripped apart.
Sorry for rambling...its just my two cents.