"Do What Makes You Happy"....

In another topic, this sentence came up as a motto used by those who would rather focus on the "fun" in life while ignoring the responsibilities in life.   It seems to really be the theme of the last couple of generations.  That "come what may, make yourself happy" shit getting fed to us by movies and TV shows by people whose wealth and narcisism completely removes them from the reality of 99% of our lives.  I get wanting to be happy, and everyone should persue it, but that motto and phrase seems to be used by the people who use it as an excuse to trample all over others, and put themselves and their "feeling" above those around them. 


For instance, my husband wants to "do what makes him happy" and his "friends" encourage him in this.  But what they dont see is that he doesnt hold up his end of the responsibilities of the home, he doesnt pull his own weight in our household, and certainly not in our relationship (how can he when his focus is "his happiness").  It really burns me up!  I certainly have NO PROBLEM with anyone persuing - until it means they have to rely on others to make it happen and/or it takes from and harms others to get it.   My husband has no problem breaking his own word, a HUGE character fault if ever there was one, just to get what will make him happy in the moment.  And while right now that means he would rather divorce me, and move out just to play his video games and not have to worry about controlling his habbit - in the future would that mean cheating on me with someone else because "it made him happy at the moment"?  These are thoughts that actually have run through  my head for years.  I suppose I should be grateful that I dont have to worry about it anymore.


But that phrase... man it just irks me right now.  He used me up to get "what would make him happy" with out ever even considering doing anything at all to bring  ME happiness.  Selfish.  Incondsiderate.  That whole phrase is just horrible to me right now.


People like my husband and other who have his issues seem to not make the connection that happiness  - real, solid happiness comes from accomplishment with ones self.  Not with what someone has, or what level of game they are at.  And when your accomplishments are built on others being hurt, or broken promises, or theft of resources (by actual theft or just not contributing their part) then no true happiness can be had.  And All I can hear in my head is people telling him "well you gotta do what makes you happy".  Dont worry about not supporting your daughter, dont worry about not even trying to save your marriage - because hell, its only your WIFE, those promises dont matter if you arent in the mood to keep them.  Just do what makes you happy... and if that means betraying those you say you love - who cares!  Its all about that immediate happiness RIGHT NOW that matters.  And when you feel like shit after a while when that gratification wears away, just find something else fast that can replace it.


To me - it seems this is an excuse utilized all the time to justify bad, cruel, manipulative and unfair behavior to others by people.  And it seems (in my experience) using ADHD as the excuse to justify it and be OK with it.