I'm going to list some common behaviors of my wife's, she is a severe add, and may have some other undiagnosed issues as well, not sure. I want to see if any others out there experience similar things w/ your mates....I'm just wondering if others experience what I do....
1) Hoards things, leaves stuff laying around, very messy, gets emotionally attached to items that were the kids, or her parents..Has a story from the past about all her stuff, likes to share stories about her childhood when showing me stuff.
2) Struggles to get sleepy ( side effect of adderall to some degree, but, has the problem even when failing to medicate) I can be reading the paper and her iPhone can start alarming loudly right by her head, and she won't here it....She will hit snooze for two hours are more.
3) A common theme for her is to jump up w/ say 45 minutes to get ready and leave...If I speak to her while she is getting ready, she will stop getting ready, engage me, and then get loud, when she realizes she has stopped getting ready, and blames me:)
4) Drives to fast, because she's usually running late....runs to the time clock most days....
5) She gets addicted to things easily...Like snacking, takes a lot of Tylenol, Advil, TV, Solitaire on the computer for hours...Really anything to keep from being constructive.
6) She lives in a world in her mind where she talks about traveling out of the country, and wants me to go with her, but she doesn't realistically manage her life and finances in a way she can. She has a storage bin she rents, that she just filled up w/ junk no one would want and pays 90.00 a month for the rent.
7) She has accepted most of the boundaries that I tell her are firm and non-negotiable, but, when our two son's are in town will use them to support her independent projects w/o telling me. So what I guess I'm asking is if your mates work around you, in things you won't be their enabler for?
8) Has a sincere desire to control... Just about anything? Vacations, restaurants, doctors, corrects my grammar all the time (conjugating some verbs not my strong suit ;)...Somehow I think she gets her self-worth from this...Does anyone else deal w/ this?
9) Very competitive...Always answers my questions about her irresponsibility with this....Well you do so and so....Never wants to own her behavior....You can't discuss what happened two days ago w/ her, because she can't remember,, but will fight you about her being right...:) She misses her appointments for doctor's and such a lot...She loses stuff all the time, and will make it your fault if you let her;)...When she jumps up rushing to get ready, I might as well go for a walk, she will want me to do 4 or 5 things most days.(will you fix me a sandwich, will you make me a smoothie..etc. etc...) If it means getting up early enough to be responsible for her own meals and needs, she will go to work hungry, or eating micro-wave outmeal out of a cup while she drives...
10) Lives in denial about most of this list so, basically discussing it only produces a flight or blame syndrome in her....If I waited on her to cook or clean Oh well, it would be bad around her...I basically live like I'm single most of the time when it comes to laundry, meals, cleaning most daily chores...I retired at age 56, so that helped...I've been able to slow down to some degree...She's the only friend or family member that thinks I should be working, and the only one who can't see how busy she keeps me...LOL..
11) And then there's the little things, that go along w/ add....Like the Britta pitcher, she will put it back in the Frig. almost empty every time..
12) She is post menopausal and has low sensitivity and very little desire (takes me for ever to try and help her finish) for sex...Not the case for me, so I just deal with it all....
How about y'all...Any of this sound familiar?