I've just joined this forum, seeking a bit of advice I guess, having just ended a relationship with a man I love. The relationship has only lasted ten months - we've both been married before, and when we met it was just the most incredible joy I've ever experienced. He delighted me - and that's not a phrase I ever would have thought about using to describe a grown man before :) Everything seemed to line up perfectly - our values and lifestyles and dreams were so similar, our kids similar ages. We'd hardly sleep because we had so much to say to each other. He made me laugh and laugh and laugh and he made me feel like I was the most special girl in the world. Then I realised he hardly seemed to sleep much anyway. And I started to notice other small things - that he couldn't have a conversation with me while he cooked dinner as the task seemed to take all his concentration, that it took him a week to pay bills that should take 10 minutes, that he fidgeted constantly, and he couldn't concentrate on conversations when we were out with friends, and he was distracted by everything on the roadside when driving. He's completely overwhelmed by household tasks and his kids' routine, and his kids' behaviours were pretty extreme - lots of anger from his oldest daughter, pretty extreme stuff). And he's lived in the same town all his life and doesn't seem to have any real friends, despite him being sociable and fun and outgoing. I'd try help him sort his house out, and he'd end up fiddling about hanging pictures "he'd been meaning to get up for a while" while I did the actual cleaning and tidying. And when I came back a few days later the house was just the same as it always was. And as he told me more about his experience as a kid at school, and more about why his marriage broke down (he kept saying that his ex-wife was just an angry person and that she treated him like a child and that she criticized him all the time - towards the end I started questioning that more - was she always angry or did that worsen as time went on? Because frankly I was starting to identify with her). And then there was the waning of the initial dizzy loveliness - suddenly I was no longer on the pedestal. He said all the right things, and to some extent did all the right things when I was right in front of him, but if I wasn't he was so focused on whatever he was doing that I may as well as not have existed. And I started to find that our moments of magic were getting few and far between and I was getting increasingly confused and distressed. And the relationship was bringing out the worst in me - stress and frustration and anger, because I just couldn't comprehend how he could be so present one moment and then I could feel so dismissed the next. And then I stumbled on ADHD forums online and he seems to be textbook. And I tried and tried to understand him and to put things in place to make it work. But I got more and more worn down, and I felt like I was forever making allowances for him...just to hold onto our ever-decreasing magical moments. And I started to feel so torn between what my head and heart were telling me. And then I started to realise that he could never meet my needs, that I could work and work and work at understanding him and supporting him and I was never going to get his full attention in return. He wanted to give me his attention, he just COULDN'T actually do it. And I was just going to have to forgive, forgive, forgive. And I started to despair with his excuses. And I have tried to leave him about 6 times over the last few months because I'm completely drained and feel like my life is absorbing his chaos. I guess this is a long way of asking does this sound like ADHD? It's also very cathartic to write that down because I've felt like I've been going quite mad and completely losing sense of myself. Could I have done anything to turn this around and to make it work? I feel like a failure and I feel like I'm walking away from the love of my life, and ironically it's because I feel like I need to rescue myself.