Double Standard - "thanking" the AD/HD spouse

I need some help to understand something. For 3 3/4 of my 4 year marriage, I have had to carry the brunt of everything.... shopping, bills, the cleaning, cooking, laundry, child care, the list goes on. In all those years I can probably say that I was ever thanked FOR ANYTHING, less than a dozen times.

So, now my newly diagnosed husband, on meds and we're in couples therapy - occasionally makes a dinner, runs a vacuum, changes a diaper or starts a load of laundry (notice I said start not "finish")..... And if I don't say THANK YOU  .... Oh Thank you and completely acknowledge the task. He pouts, gets angry, tells me that I am not being supportive, not being appreciative, not understanding how difficult it is for him and his AD/HD. And tells me why should he want to help if I cannot acknowledge all he does. 

I am trying my very best to understand just what it must be like to have AD/HD - when is he going to even take a moment interest in what it's like to be married to someone with AD/HD.  I understand that I need to encourage him and thank him - but is it really necessary to thank him for EVERYTHING and to do so emphatically!

Truly am at my wits end.... ohh and thank you!