Double Trouble

Hi there...I'm new to this forum and site.  I came upon this site because my girlfriend has treated ADD.  I've know this since I've known her, but I felt like her ADD affected our relationship still so I wanted to know what I was getting into by being with her for the long term.  So after reading on here and doing research, I got the book from Melissa the other day and started reading it.  I looked on this website and saw a lot of the frustrations that people had.  I worried about kids in the future, them getting fed and will she just be all over the place to help take care of them.

Before it seems that I might trash her, I do want to say that I love her dearly.  I love her heart, her spontinaety, her thrill for life, her work ethic.  She never uses her condition as an excuse.  Her parents put her in everything when she was a kid so that she was stimulated, and she excelled.  Even now, she excels in everything she works at.  She travels for work, and at the same time is becoming a work out instructor and is a board member of a charity.  And she used to do improv.  I recommend that for your ADDers.

I started thinking there was a problem when after a whirlwind courtship, she started her job and became somewhat distant.  More than somewhat.  I ran into the hyperfocus thing that I read about here and that focus went to her new job.  Of course I got angry about it and offended, but she said it just requires her attention more because it is totally new.  I bought into that explanation and just kept myself busy.

So as this year started and her job got busier again, I saw the same pattern.  So I started researching about ADHD and all the effects on spouses, etc.  Yes everything was the same, and yes we fit into it.  However, as I read more and more, it also looked familiar at a personal level.  Saying things like bad a finances, shortish temper, not being able to complete projects, and the big one of being extremely disorganized.  I've also had job issues in the past that I blamed on the job being boring and relationships where I felt I was just misunderstood or not liked for who I am etc.

Talk about possible double trouble.  Not sure if this is a question or a statement, but I suspect this is either a match made in heaven or hell.  Perhaps a better question is when researching their significant other's issue, did you run into thinking that you might have ADHD as well?  (thank goodness she isn't pregnant, or I would have thought I was too!!)

I sure did. I had myself

I sure did. I had myself convinced I had it too. I even told my spouse I think I have it too. Bad mistake now he thinks I am the one with the problem. : -( not good. When most ADHDers think it's always the other person and they can't understand why we get so upset. Well now he has it in his head its not him. Its me and his ex wife.