Hi there...I'm new to this forum and site. I came upon this site because my girlfriend has treated ADD. I've know this since I've known her, but I felt like her ADD affected our relationship still so I wanted to know what I was getting into by being with her for the long term. So after reading on here and doing research, I got the book from Melissa the other day and started reading it. I looked on this website and saw a lot of the frustrations that people had. I worried about kids in the future, them getting fed and will she just be all over the place to help take care of them.
Before it seems that I might trash her, I do want to say that I love her dearly. I love her heart, her spontinaety, her thrill for life, her work ethic. She never uses her condition as an excuse. Her parents put her in everything when she was a kid so that she was stimulated, and she excelled. Even now, she excels in everything she works at. She travels for work, and at the same time is becoming a work out instructor and is a board member of a charity. And she used to do improv. I recommend that for your ADDers.
I started thinking there was a problem when after a whirlwind courtship, she started her job and became somewhat distant. More than somewhat. I ran into the hyperfocus thing that I read about here and that focus went to her new job. Of course I got angry about it and offended, but she said it just requires her attention more because it is totally new. I bought into that explanation and just kept myself busy.
So as this year started and her job got busier again, I saw the same pattern. So I started researching about ADHD and all the effects on spouses, etc. Yes everything was the same, and yes we fit into it. However, as I read more and more, it also looked familiar at a personal level. Saying things like bad a finances, shortish temper, not being able to complete projects, and the big one of being extremely disorganized. I've also had job issues in the past that I blamed on the job being boring and relationships where I felt I was just misunderstood or not liked for who I am etc.
Talk about possible double trouble. Not sure if this is a question or a statement, but I suspect this is either a match made in heaven or hell. Perhaps a better question is when researching their significant other's issue, did you run into thinking that you might have ADHD as well? (thank goodness she isn't pregnant, or I would have thought I was too!!)