Driving

My husband, whom I suspect has ADHD, DESPISES having to drive long distances.  I mean even a one hour trip out of town.  Is this an ADHD symptom?  If I am the one driving, then it is fine for him because he can play on his ipad.  Another issue we had was a few occasions when he was driving in a different city where we didn't know where everything was, I had the map and was giving him directions.  He got so easily frustrated, I would direct him when to turn and which way, and he wouldn't listen, then we'd end up going the wrong way, he would start to show anger and yell and start to blame me that I didn't direct him soon enough etc.  

We have had at least three or four instances the past few months driving and him getting so mad and angry and we start to yell at each other.  I am desperate to stop this negative interactions because we want to start a family soon. There is no way I want to be raising voices in front of children. It seems like he is quick to anger, blame and start to yell!  Is this ADHD?  Or just anger problems.  I have started to read Melissa's book and we both recognize other symptoms he has. But just wondering if this driving thing could be a symptom.

This might be related to ADHD

This might be related to ADHD in that if your  husband doesn't like to drive, it doesn't hold his interest and he gets frustrated with it quickly.  My hubby, on the other hand, really likes driving (although he, like your husband, doesn't take well to being given directions).

Yep, he finds driving long

Yep, he finds driving long distances so boring, especially when the scenery is just flat ground all around lol.  

Driving...

I love to drive... It is one of my favorite things to do. It keeps me focused, the car is like a decompression chamber to me. Loud music to block out the noise in the world. The thrill of driving a machine that has power and precise handling through twisting roads. Because I love to drive and drive very well, I can take care of my family on long road trips. The kids can watch movies, my DW can rest or read. I am focused on the road and the variables around me. I drove the entire way on our vacation last year, 13.5 hours there and back. 

I drove a NASCAR last fall, and I knew I had missed my calling. Lap one was a little cautious, but then I felt like a part of the car and ran it right to the redline the rest of the way to to 154 mph in one of the greatest 8 minutes of my life.

O.K.  I'd probably crap

O.K.  I'd probably crap myself at that speed, YYZ, but I do like driving BY MYSELF with the radio on and driving fairly fast.  And I have an affinity for winding roads as well.  That's usually where I get pulled over for speeding.  My husband thinks I am a slow driver, but I've been pulled over about 12 times in my life (only 2 tickets though).  I just don't like going under 40 mph.  It feels like I am not moving.

I HATE driving with my husband, though.  He is a backseat driver.  It used to be a safety thing (I was unmedicated, a novice driver, and was either two aggressive or too passive).  Now it is a control thing as he is impatient.  He gets annoyed if I park too far away when we go somewhere (suck it up, dude, you can walk 50 feet!) or if I am not aggressive enough for him.  I feel he is actually distracting to me as a result.  

He doesn't mind driving (usually) and I like being able to do something else in that case. 

 

Backseat driver...

I definitely prefer to drive alone. I totally know what you mean about speeds less than 40! Uggggggh!!! I have not had a speeding ticket since 2004 and it was a speed trap I should have remembered... It was my first ticket since 1998. I don't speed too much in general driving, like 9 over the posted speed limit (except school zones ;) My DW and I had major BSD issues in the first few years. I learned to control my impulses with her in the car, because it was not worth the trouble. Unlike many of us ADDer's, I have only had one wreck that was technically my fault in 31 years of driving. It annoys my DW, because when she starts BSD, I simply say the "The proof is in the pudding" ;)

The honest truth is, un-medicated and young, I was guilty of taking too many chances and my DW's boundaries probably made me aware of them and made me a better driver. Parking... haha! I park in the first place I see and I don't care if it is 100 yards farther to walk.  

Does he actually say it's

Does he actually say it's your fault he took a wrong turning or does he take issue with you saying he's not listening?  Personally, I have a lot of difficulties with left and right due to learning difficulties- dyslexia and dyspraxia.  Even if I was listening I still wouldn't necessarily be able to follow the directions because they get completely confused in my head.  If someone told me the way to walk somewhere and gave me a list of lefts and rights I would more or less definitely get lost, in fact I'd get lost in a broom cupboard, but that would happen without adhd too.  Of course not all people with adhd have these difficulties but a considerable number do, so it's just a suggestion to consider.  Of course it could well be a combination of adhd and a learning disability making it a challenge to follow directions, and for you to give them.

Giving directions can be interesting too.  My father who has some of my spatial difficulties has been known to point with his right hand and say 'left'.  For some of us, it can take a while for our brains to translate words that mean directions into the directions themselves, if that makes sense.  Using a satnav means that as well as words, he gets a picture in front of him to follow, which could be a lot easier for all concerned.