Drug Abuse -- Please help

Hello - 

I just discovered that the my ADHD diagnosed wife of about 9 months has not only been abusing her Adderral XR capsules and tabs but also purchasing street level meth pills to self medicate. She has kept this from me for months and I only discovered this when going through our finances this weekend. When I asked about it she told the truth but I am at a loss for words. I have never hid anything from her in the over three years I have known her. I try to keep a household schedule, help her organize but not push or baby her. I feel like my trust has been shaken to the core and I do not know the next step. She doesn't have many friends and I don't know what will happen to her if I leave her. I fear I will never be able to trust her again. My apologies if there are any typos I am still very shaken up. At this point I am just asking for advice. 

I'm sorry to hear that your

I'm sorry to hear that your wife has been abusing drugs.  That must be very shocking and I understand your concern about being able to trust her.  If you are willing to stick with her for at least a little while, do you think you could persuade her to make an appointment with her doctor and allow you to accompany her?  I'd be worried first about her health; rebuilding trust, if that is something you choose to work on, can come later.  Good luck.

Chels555,

My ADHD husband has been abusing marijuana for almost all his life to accommodate his ADHD and to relax him "he says", but after he smokes it and it only last for about 15 min the shit starts back all over again,I did tell him to stop but once the addiction of drugs start it will never go away,"only"serious counseling or rehabilitation could succumb to those addictions,I am hoping that "when"he starts his meds it will be a replacement for the marijuana addiction he has,but,it's only so much energy I have left in me now that I am so over whelm with all the problems he has put me through thus far,I hope you could get her the help requires for that addiction because that is a serious one ,good luck.

from:lovehurtsalotwithanger.

Thanks for

Thanks for the responses. Anytime that I try to have a conversation about this with her she starts sobbing uncontrollably saying things like "Please don't leave me" and "I don't know what'll do" or "If you leave I will kill myself." I try to tell her that saying these things aren't fair to anyone and scary to me for sure. I know that I sound selfish with all this but I cannot get locked into this cycle where we work on something or come up with a plan and than she finds a way to break it and plans me for not sticking to it. Oh and I just found out that the joint savings account we set up with our wedding gifts is now empty. 

I don't think that you should

I don't think that you should feel like you have to stay with your wife.  In this situation, if I were in your position, I would tell my spouse, "We need to go to the doctor together."  I would not in any way promise that I would stay with my spouse, whether or not he followed through with going to the doctor.  I would leave open to myself the possibility of getting a divorce; if illegal drug use is a dealbreaker to you, you have to be true to yourself and your personal bottom line.

 

drug abuse,

drug abuse is no reason to get a divorce,she is looking for ways to succumb the reaction and resentment from others,I am not an expert but, I try not to encourage divorce so soon without getting full details of the current situation, and in the forums here you really only get bits and pieces of the issue and not the full blow of it.only "YOU"Chels555 would know when and what time it is in your marriage,but,I encourage you to get the proper help is needed for her before you make "any" decisions.

from:lovehurts

I am not meaning to say that

I edited my previous response.  Divorce is not obligatory, in this or any situation.  But I might want to get a divorce if I were in the original poster's situation.  I don't think that anyone should be able to use the threat of further self-abuse or of suicide to manipulate a spouse. 

Chels555,

Drug abuse and compulsive spending go hand in hand in a result of financial difficulties in the long haul,you should separate your money from her's so you don't end up a bankruptcy or even in debt,or bad credits,drug abusers tent to start looting out their own personal items to get the addiction going,be careful ,keep a close eye on her,"help"her,,,,,, try not to focus on how she is thinking or feeling or her reactions are right now, rather than how bad she needs you right now,,,,,

from:lovehurts