Dueling ADHD

So both my wife and I have ADHD.

It's never really been a problem.  She became an ER physician (Spend 5 minutes with each patient, high intense) and I'm in IT (Multiple things happening at once and also intense)
She was an only child (center of attention), I was an abused child (never given attention).
I'm an extrovert and she's an introvert
I'm good in numbers, she's good in words and concepts.

When people describe us, they universally use two descriptions.
We are opposites and she is very pretty  (yeah, I think it's funny also)

We balance each other.  Except when we don't/
It's been getting harder and harder to just have normal communication.  We have to be doing something to get along.  Otherwise, we go in opposite directions.
I joke that my biggest fear is that we be in a burning building with two exits.   Because we will burn to death fighting over which exit to go out of.

So there are plenty of books on dealing with an ADHD spouse.  Is there anything to help when Both are ADHD?