There seems to be a lack of real empathy from dh. As though other people and animals are there for HIS enjoyment, comfort, biding. There seems to be a lack of care of other's feelings and needs. I think this is the hardest part of living with him. It makes me, the partner/spouse, unseen and unheard. The crazy-making part is that he screams that I am not loving enough when it is HIM that does not seem to care AT ALL about how I feel or what I think. It is actually opposite of that.....I cared WAY too much about him and gave up a big part of myself to try to have a relationship with him. I think way to much about what is going on with HIM.
He can ACT as though he cares. Quick with the "Honey" words, but he is actually not caring. His nature is that he enjoys hurting smaller and weaker beings, particularly if they annoy him or make demands on him. He talks the talk of love but he walks the walk of a bully. He TALKS but doesn't DO what caring people do. He ACTS the part of the humble gosh-darn good guy but he is very self-centered with his actions that no one sees but me... that no one hears but me. He is not who he pretends to be. I think he knows he does this. He talks about the work he did and about the project he is going to do as if they are very big and important but it way out of reality in importance to the actual work. Sometimes he thinks HE did something that I actually did and he will tell people in detail how HE did it. This I can believe is his selective memory. He just switches the facts in his memory so that things are more positive for him. He changes reality to suit him.
Is this a part of ADD? Anyone have this feeling about their partners?
Being a Nice Guy, doesn't mean you are a push over. It also doesn't mean you are easy to manipulate or take advantage of. No, being a Nice Guy simply means you care, have no time to get mad at the small stuff, and you think of the world in larger terms than self. And despite living in the shadow of the bad guys and paying for mistakes you didn't make, you hold on sometimes more than you should, but when you can no longer, you move on because it's the right thing to do. - Eugene Nathaniel Butler