The end

Hi lovely people,


i have got the courage to finally typ down how  and  where I’m at at the moment. 

It all started 8 years ago. I met this fun guy through a mutual friend after a while we started dating. I got out a relationship and was 30 and  a single mom of 2 at that time. He was 28. Now I’m 39 and I can not find that little piece of me of how I was before. 

He mentioned that he was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 6 but that it isn’t so bad as he thinks it is. He doesn’t want to take meds because that makes him not who he is. 

He wanted to have children but during our time together there was something inside me told me not to. 

The last 3 years have been a struggle. He always in to looking for action, flirting with girls and texting them in the night while I am longing for that connection we have when he is ‘normal’. Makes me become a nagging and angry woman, who I don’t want to be. Now we decided to live seperate so we give ourself some time out but I see this as a sign we will grow even further away. 

My confidence is so low at the moment because he regurarly says he is handsome and lots of women are attracted to him but he stay still with me. He says he wants a younger person who is vived and not nagging but he loves me so he stays. The fact is that he is scared because he knows I am doing everything around and know how he really is. He is not attracted to me anymore but sadly he loves me so he won’t do anything. 

I use to be this proud and strong women. I have a career and totally financially independent. It is too hard for me to leave him because I know how he really is but de adhd makes him this terrible person. I am now at te turning point to not fight it anymore and let him do his thing and leave all the worries behind. 

However it feels so sad even though he mistreaded me and lies a lot but in the end I know how he really is when he come to sense. I can not save him but can save myself. 

Thank you.