An epiphany around travel.

So, I am taking a vacation shortly it just dawned on me last night how different getting ready has been from my experiences around vacations with my ex.  

Any trip that he and I took, which were mostly just long weekend getaways, was entirely planned by me.  He would wave his hand and say "I'm just not good at that stuff so you take care of it and I'll just pay for it."  I organize people for a living so it comes natural to me and I thought nothing of it, but after years of every single detail of the responsibility always falling to me it grew extremely tiring to have to plan every trip, every holiday, every everything...   even my own birthday getaways. 

He was hardly able to even pack his own bag by himself.  I would get constant text messages from him while I was home trying to pack my *own* bags and get *myself* ready.    They went like this - Should I bring this shirt or this shirt?  Which jacket should I bring?  Does this tie go with this?  My jeans don't fit.  Do you like this pocket square?  Maybe I should wear the blue jacket instead.  Do you think it will be cold?   I think I'm going to bring this white shirt instead.   Well, what are YOU wearing on Friday night?   ....Etc, etc etc.  

It was an endless barrage of interruptions and I would inevitably get frustrated and tell him he needed to FIGURE IT OUT because I was trying to get myself ready.  And then he would pack enough for a week long trip even though we were going away for just a weekend.  I would bring a carry on and a purse and he would bring a full suitcase, a suit bag, his satchel and so on.   I would always just shake my head at him.  Not really understanding what was going on.  Often on the morning of he would decide he needed to take the car in for a "quick" tune up also, or an oil change.  Or something.

This time I am going away with a girlfriend of mine.  I've never been out of the country before and I always wanted to go with my ex but he would always say "yes we should do that" and then it would never happen.  Unless, of course, I took care of it.  Instead, this time my friend and I decided together, picked the dates, shared the planning process, packed our own stuff and that was that.  Easy.  Teamwork.

The difference in the whole process has been astonishing.

Not only that ...but once friends and co-workers found out where I was going they were so incredibly generous with their assistance.  Sitting down with me to talk about places to go, sending me links to helpful discounts or their favorite restaurants.    Sending emails to friends or coworkers who live locally and introducing me so that I have a touchstone while we're there.  

I nearly cried last night because people were actually helping ME.  

Anyway.. I just had to write this all down.  Even after the fact I keep making discoveries like this and it's all kind of overwhelming.

Thank you for listening.