Every minute together is SO complicated, doesn't feel like a life

I am so overwhelmed with how complicated this is - to try and change every minute, every interaction, every hour of every day of every month of every year - and at the same time ignoring the chores left undone, feeling ignored, feeling hopeless, keeping my lips sealed shut when he fails YET AGAIN at something he promised to do. I have to think about every word that comes out of my mouth, because he may be "offended" or become defensive because of his own baggage. I am TIRED of feeling like his enemy.

I did not sign up for this kind of relationship. I'm not sure I can continue this extremely complicated, exhausting way of life.

((HUGS)) I can relate to a

((HUGS)) I can relate to a lot of what you said...especially the part about being tired of feeling like his enemy. Somehow I have become my DH's enemy as well...not someone to seek advice from, not someone to talk to, not someone to lean on, just someone who is out to get him or whose motives aren't trusthworthy..ever. It is heartbreaking.

Try to find joy, somehow, someway...that is the best I got for now. 

I've been there! My husband

I've been there! My husband and I almost got divorced because of his ADHD. We had to hit rock bottom before anything changed. He is in individual counseling and we both go to marriage counseling. If your husband is like mine, he really wants to do the things he promises, but just can't. It can be a living hell for the nonADHDer. Hang in there.

I feel your pain

I just joined this forum and this is pretty much what my first post was about.  Every single thing out of my mouth, no matter how I try to phrase it or how ordinary it seems to me seems to get twisted into "me attacking him".  It just keeps getting worse.  I am constantly told that I don't know how to talk to people.  He always thinks I am against him or I am attacking him.  I walk on eggshells and it does no good anyway.  I am at a breaking point.  He just started meds and counseling, so I have some small hope, but I am already at the end of my rope.  I start to question my own sanity and wonder if maybe I am saying things in the wrong way.  Logically, I know it can't be true that everything I ever say is somehow offensive.  I love my husband and have done everything for him, which is probably part of the problem, and yet I am always the bad guy.  I don't raise my voice, or engage in an argument when he gets like that, but it hasn't changed a thing.  I have no advice, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.