I am a woman with ADHD, mild Aspergers and mild learning difficulties (in certain areas) and I recently got out of a relationship with a person who also has Aspergers and ADHD.
I left the relationship because it was unhealthy, toxic and bordering on abusive, in fact it was abusive as far as my family, some friends and doctors are concerned, he would yell at me when things didn't go his way, when things went wrong and when he was out of cigarettes, he would occasionally hit me for the same kind of reasons, he would accuse me of nagging and tell me to shut up when I asked about him paying his share of the bills yet he would go out and create debt after debt, his friends for the most part treated me as if I didn't exist or they were rude or plain nasty depending on the individual, he had poor personal hygiene and incontinence which he didn't bother address yet expected me to be intimate with him and complained that I wouldn't share the same bed as him (I wasn't for the most part due to the smell and what not) and when I mentioned his hygiene I would get told to shut up or f*ck off etc...the list goes on and on but I don't want to keep going, it's just too depressing.
Before I met him I was planning to move interstate to continue studies in the animal care field, I was happy and looking forward to this life I was going to set up for myself but I met him, made friends with him and gave him a chance only to find out it was to my detriment, I thought because I had been a relationship with an NT who was also abusive that this guy was a safe person because he was like me but I was sadly mistaken...very sadly mistaken. I had friends and a future and now I don't have either at this point, I am living in a homeless shelter for women while my beloved cat is with my mother until I find permanent housing.
I had two good jobs while I was with him but it was impossible to get ahead financially because he didn't want to work, he actually complained that I earned too much money because he was losing money from his social security benefits...
I have joined a group for people who have endured narcissistic abuse and my goodness every story I've read is almost identical in some way to my last relationship, there is always something in common and it's scary....really scary because there seems to be so many of these types out there and I don't want to run into another one again.
I don't know who I am anymore but I know one thing for sure I'm not the same person I was before May 2011 and some days I feel like I'm going mad....